Changing phases

Work-pressure is at its peak and with weeks of constant writing am running out of words. Do I look like a squeezed up toothpaste tube? I feel like one! All I can remember are the words dazzling, exquisite, scintillating… grr damn the Doha Jewellery and Watches expo! And how thankful I am that it happens only once a year!

Sitting alone at the office, and staring at the monitor, sometimes at the ceiling, and musing about the bygone days is something I am in love with now. Not that I am not having the best slice of my life, but days back home, back in INDIA, were something I love to cherish in the little corner of my mind. It is not the school and college days am talking about, but the life after that – the corporate version of Lubuna. I love responsibilities and I know that's a killer passion when it comes to the corporate world. Still, I love to be on the top, being responsible for what is done, what is to be done, and what is going on. ON CALL always! I dread it, and my colleagues tried my best to convince that it is not gonna do any good to me, but in vain.

PHASE 1

Things took a different tone when I moved to Cochin – to the Cochin Special Economic Zone. Work at the Zone sucked big time and now I realize why I hated it. Confrontation with high-end ON CALL junkies. Realizations struck how bad it is to be one. Changed myself and moved onto the world of the World Wide Web.

Be it work, party, treats or fights, I was at my best! Having a bunch of cheery people makes you one. Moreover, I was totally worry-free. The only things I had in my list of priority were work and fun, and I enjoyed it in tonnes! Should say the chunky-hefty digital cam I had helped me a lot. Because, it helped me capture the fun live and today when I go through those clicks, I can feel like a smile slowly appearing on my face.

PHASE 2

Good-bye to Cochin! I didn’t hear the 'slam', of the book of Happy-Days of my life closing. I didn’t realize that what I am leaving behind is something priceless. I didn’t realize that I won't be able to go back to those days, never again.

Enter the phase of lifelessness or should I call it the stage of Passiveness??? I never knew what am I going through. When everyone else gave me a look of "she is gone nuts", I just remained passive, shutting my ears to even my own thoughts. Whenever I was alone I made it a point not to think about what I am going through, because somewhere in my sub-conscious mind I knew that I will lose all my strength if I mull over it. Parents, friends, relatives – everyone put me in the so called glass-globe and played audience. I did survive the situation – I did come out the best actress. Yeah, using best actress here goes well with the theme – because, I smiled, even I was breaking into pieces within.

PHASE 3

Goodbye to spinsterhood!

It was a moment of pride. When I came out the cathedral after the nuptial, holding the hands of 'My Man', I felt to be the 'luckiest' girl in the world! And I knew all I went through in Phase 2 was just for this – for this happiness!

PHASE 4

Speechless, wordless to write anything about is. All I can is smile :-)